I have been discovering a phenomenal amount of circumspect, mistrust and apprehension among people these days. Not at me. No no... am good and in shape with most people. But most people I meet... I sense a sort of insecurity that gets manifest as aggression in their walk talk and body gestures, I feel very very moved at this inability of people to find peace in themselves. I am going to steal a line from Kurt "Nirvana" Cobain and say "I would rather be hated for what I am than being loved for what I am not!". And this "Rural Phantasy" is turning out to be a brilliant trip of expose for me... to learn people... most of my learning has actually come by less communication than more observation; but of course... I have been observing more than communicating and am glad of it. Well... it's not a personal post or polambals or anything, just that I felt like it. Also, it is interesting to see how people want to desperately connect with others but are not sure and hence they don't know when and what and how much to give or hold back! I am laughing inside watching all this. About the performance... well, what can I say! The public says it all. 3 shows done, 1 to go. 3 different responses, but not very radical as with some shows I have seen. That probably means, there is a certain amount of uniformity in the performance, as well as a certain measure of mediocrity. Of course, some people have condemned the show by saying they did not like it without spelling out... These people I know, but I refrain to elaborate more. As for my own self and my views on this show? Well, I will have to dig into the production process. I don't want to. Because then rather than being an actor my other facets of theatre artist would surface, not to mention the critic in me. And that may not me nice or ethical, since I am here primarily as an actor. I intend to do the job I am paid for and the rest shall be silence. Learning curve... ummm... I still can't dance and that doesn't mean I can't let loose my soul out there on the dance floor with gay abandon as they say. This is different. Probably my recent friends Tara Shreya and Swe were right in nailing it down: I still can't walk. You see, there is so much to learn in theatre even after soooo many years of being around. But what the heck, am enjoying my solitude at Rural Phantasy. Don't disturb it for another night. If you don't I shall do a proper "disinterested" - as Mathew Arnold would say in his "Tradition and Individual Talent" - attempt at a critique of the show.