I am faced with the following existential angst. How do I realise my visions of the kind of art and theatre I want to do in the current geographical set-up I live in? Would I have done justice to myself if I don't satisfy my needs as an artist? Should I pander to public tastes and commercial desires? Every artist's conundrum, this.
Anyway, these are the questions that specifically threaten me from my work.
What do you do when the existing vocabulary is not enough to express your vision?
Do you create vocabulary within the existing confines of grammar, what ever be the art, the tradition, the milieu?
How private does this vocabulary remain?
Does it / can it serve others of similar dilemma and angst, and hence become a public vocabulary?
If it goes on to do that, how much of the intensity remains in me the next time I use this vocabulary? Is it still mine any more?
Who draws the cutting standards to ratify, attest or authorise this derived vocabulary? Do we even - anarchically speaking - need an authorisation from others?
Some of the people who I would like to meet and ask these questions:
Wynton Marsalis, John Coltrane, Wassily Kandinsky, Paul Klee, Adam Gilchrist, Wolfgang Mozart, Christian Morgenstern, Marius von Meyenburg, Quentin Tarantino, Sarah Kane, George Lucas, John Williams, Ustad Allaudin Khan & Jesus Christ!
Am I mad? Feel free!